Since moving to the United States from South Korea alone at a young age, my subconsciousness has adapted a system to alleviate my two colliding identities, an ongoing battle between my past and present. At first, I had desperately tried to hold on, but along the way, I made the decision to let go and ignore my roots, purposefully eviscerating what has felt unreachable to my present. Soon I realized that such self-evisceration is my attempt at mourning the fleeting remnants of my upbringing in Korea. However, mourning is an unsuccessful one in nature. The failed renditions of my lost memories stare me down, suspended in the air, asking me to tear them apart. Ironically, this destruction process only resurfaces other mutated fragments from the past, spiraling into a never-ending cycle of replications and destructions. To forget, I have to remember and to remember, I must embrace its flawed nature. render_error aims to visualize this void between me and my memories — the error in my mourning — that only expands.
In render_error, I took on 3D generation and the digital space to simulate and make sense of my mourning process. I generated 3D models of figures who primarily dwell in my memories as if I am drawing sketches in my head. Unfortunately, like my defective process of mourning, the technological process bears its glitches and limitations, rendering disjointed replications. So I proceed to destroy, blur and abstract the models until they are no longer recognizable.
See more of the this artist's work: tedtaekeunkim.com
