What does it mean to be an adoptee? What is it like to live an existence so jarring and inconclusive? To grapple with the uncertain reality into which you were thrust? Who am I and where did I come from? As an adoptee, I ponder many questions that may never be answered.
Perhaps it is these unanswered questions that drive me to speak to the question of what it feels like to be an adoptee. To feel completely alone with thoughts that cannot be rationalized away. To long for a past which eludes you. To be stuck between two different cultures, two different worlds, and one enigmatic vessel. My experiences can only convey limited aspects of what it means to be an adoptee, but it is the goal that I strive towards both in life and in art. The reality is that adoptees live shaped by very specific phenomena, which we experience within ourselves, share with the people we love most. and are subjected to via judgments made by strangers. It is an experience often characterized by confusion, introspection, alienation, and a profound longing for a better understanding of the self, of the past, and one’s place in the world.
I know that there are other adoptees out there who understand what it‘s like to live with this strange combination of uncertainty, loss, and longing. I want them to know that they aren’t alone and that even if they’re still figuring out who they want to be, that they should be proud regardless. At the same time, I want my work to convey that the adoptee experience is more complex than some of the common misconceptions occupying the narrative. We should not be reduced to words such as “lucky” or “unfortunate.” We shouldn’t have to correct the assumption that our parents aren’t our “real” parents. Most importantly, we should be able to live our lives unburdened by the judgments imposed upon us by others. My name is Cydney Blitzer. I am a Chinese-American adoptee and I am proud.
Follow on Instagram @cydneyblitzer